.Editor's Keep in mind: The adhering to is the content of a letter coming from Exploration Three Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Retired), reassessing the events of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't composed very much concerning specifics of the purpose in the course of the month I've been actually right here, mainly for two explanations: the first being actually that there has actually been actually very little time to perform that kind of creating, and secondly since I am actually not sure how comfy I am actually discussing thought and feelings I show family and friends with the remainder of the world.Properly, undoubtedly the globe transformed today. What I point out or do is extremely small contrasted to the implication of what happened to our country today when it was assaulted through ... through whom? Revolutionaries is all we understand, I think. Tough to know at whom to drive our anger and fear ...I had only ended up a variety of duties today, the most lengthy being the physical exams of all workers members. In a private chat adhering to that, the trip specialist told me they were actually possessing a very negative day on the ground. I possessed no concept ...He illustrated the circumstance to me as best he recognized it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually stunned, after that alarmed. My initial thought and feelings was that this wasn't a true conversation, that I was still paying attention to among my Tom Clancy strips. It just really did not seem to be possible on this incrustation in our country. I couldn't also picture the details, even prior to the news of further damage started can be found in.Vladimir visited fairly swiftly, sensing that one thing very major was being actually talked about. I swayed Michael into the module as well. They were actually likewise astounded and stunned. After we signed off, I tried to describe to Vladimir as well as Michael as finest I could the potential size of this show of terror in midtown Manhattan and also at the Government. They clearly recognized and also were extremely understanding.I glanced at the Planet Chart on the personal computer to see where over the world our company were as well as saw that we were actually coming southeast out of Canada as well as would certainly be actually skipping New England in a handful of minutes. I zoomed around the terminal until I discovered a window that will give me a viewpoint of New York City and also got hold of the nearest cam. It occurred to be a video camera, as well as I was actually looking southern coming from the home window of Michael's cabin.The smoke cigarettes appeared to possess a weird bloom to it at the base of the pillar that was streaming south of the area. After checking out some of the news articles we merely acquired, I believe our company were actually considering NY around the moment of, or even soon after, the crash of the second high rise. Exactly how unpleasant ...I swung the camera the whole time the East Shore to the south to see if I can view any other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or anywhere else, yet absolutely nothing showed up.It was actually pretty tough to consider job afterwards, though we had some to perform, but on the upcoming track we traversed the United States more southern. All three of us were operating a couple of cameras to make an effort to obtain sights of Nyc or even Washington. There was actually haze over Washington, yet no certain resource may be viewed. It all appeared incredible from 2 to 3 hundred miles away. I can't imagine the heartbreaking scenes on the ground.Aside from the mental effect of our country being tackled and also hundreds of our consumers as well as possibly some good friends being actually gotten rid of, the best overwhelming feeling being where I am actually is one of solitude.Following time ... I think the fatigue and emotional tension obtained the most ideal of me. I couldn't stay awake and continue to compose. Today was still hard, yet our experts began acquiring additional details, plus we had the honor of chatting straight along with the Center Supervisor, Roy Estess, that ensured us that the ground teams will remain to work and guarantee our security, along with the secure function of the Place. Our team also heard from our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, who incorporated that the partners in the Program are actually all totally devoted to proceeding risk-free functions as well as support. These were actually certainly never questions for me. I recognize all these people! The ground teams have actually been actually extremely helpful, really understanding of the effect of the headlines, as well as have actually made an effort to be as helpful as feasible. They have actually all been really professional and also focused though I can not visualize the disturbance of this type of updates coming in and the idea that government structures may be vulnerable. They never ever bypassed a beat, even when relocating nerve center. And also a group of elderly personnel and close friends provided our company a pretty in depth rundown on what was known and also what was being carried out in the federal government as well as at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was very handy and sort of them to do in the midst of all the turmoil. The Russian TsUP has also been encouraging and useful, attempting to uplink news articles when our very own properties were inoperable, and pointing out kind terms ...My crewmates have actually been actually wonderful, too. They understand it is actually been actually a hard day for me as well as the folks on the ground, and also they've made an effort to become as also keeled and useful as feasible. Michael even corrected me my favorite Borscht soup for dinner. And also they provide me a lot of area to think when I needed it. They are really thoughtful and also certainly outraged at whoever would perform this.I understand numerous people in Washington, a lot of people who take a trip to DC as well as NYC, numerous that are captains, that I really felt sure I would certainly get a minimum of a couple of pieces of trouble over the following couple of times. I got the first one today when I knew that the Leader of the American Airlines jet that attacked the Pentagon was Chic Burlingame, a schoolmate of mine. I encountered Chic throughout plebe summer when our experts were in the D&B with each other, as well as our company possessed tons of lessons with each other. I can't picture what he has to of looked at, and right now I hear that he might possess climbed even further than our company may also think of by possibly preventing his plane from being the one to attack the White Property. What a dreadful reduction, however I'm sure Chic was actually combating fearlessly to the end. And tears don't move the exact same precede ...It is actually difficult to describe just how it really feels to be the only American completely off the planet each time including this. The emotion that I must be there with every one of you, dealing with this, aiding somehow, is mind-boggling. I recognize that our experts get on the threshold (or past) of a terrible change in the past history of the world. Many factors will certainly certainly never coincide once again after September 11, 2001. Not simply for the 1000s and countless individuals straight had an effect on through these hideous process of violence, however possibly for all of us. Our experts are going to locate our own selves feeling differently about dozens of things, including possibly space exploration, regrettably.It's horrible to see smoke putting coming from cuts in your personal nation from such an awesome point of view. The dichotomy of getting on a space capsule devoted to strengthening live on the planet and also watching life being damaged through such intentional, horrendous acts is jolting to the subconscious, regardless of who you are. And also the knowledge that every thing will certainly be various than when our company released due to the time we land is actually a little disconcerting. I believe in our country and in our leadership that our company are going to do everything possible to much better safeguard her and our households, and to deliver fair treatment for what has been actually performed. I have confidence that the great individuals at NASA are going to do every little thing needed to proceed our mission properly and also return our team safely at the right time. As well as I overlook each one of you significantly. I can't exist along with you personally, and we possess a very long way to go to complete our objective, but be certain that my heart is actually with you, as well as understand you are in my prayers.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An upgrade to the last character ... Thankfully, it's been an occupied full week up listed below. And to show that, like our country, our company are continuing on our desired road along with organization as usual (as high as possible). Tonight the most up to date enhancement to the station, the Russian Docking Area will be released coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday night (US time), it is going to dock with us, at a slot never ever used just before on the nadir edge of the Company Component. This brand new module will certainly give us an additional location to dock an Improvement or even Soyuz and also are going to provide a large airlock along with pair of able to be used hatches for carrying out EVA's in Russian Orlan matches, which we will carry out a few of prior to our experts come home.The issue before in coping with this week was too little information. The concern today is actually too much. It came at one time when e-mail was rejuvenated, and there's insufficient time to review it all! Plus it is actually as well tough to handle all of it immediately. Yet I cherish obtaining it, and I definitely appreciate the wonderful characters of help as well as friendship I am getting.We are actually prospering aboard, obtaining our work carried out, as well as referring to things. Final evening our company had a long dialogue over supper about the implication of these activities, the achievable actions to follow, and what ought to be actually carried out. After dinner, Michael challenged telling me that every e-mail he acquired from good friends in Russia mentioned exclusively to inform me just how regretful they were actually that this happened, extending their acknowledgements, and asking exactly how I was actually performing. Vladimir instructed me the Russian phrase for "acknowledgements" after consulting with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Celebrity Area. (Both the Russian and the English phrases are a lot too long to articulate quickly.) Quite type folks.For the final pair of days, the Russian MCC has been good enough to broadcast real-time broadcasts of radio information regarding the activity as well as linked tales, to be sure I was actually effectively updated. Every specialist that has begun the line to explain a procedure or a problem has at some point prolonged greetings to me along with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom told us that because of the wedding day of remembrance in the US, throughout the day people had been actually carrying florals as well as edging all the wall surfaces of the United States embassy in Moscow, as well as this evening they were igniting candles in the street outside the consulate. How the planet has altered.Folks almost everywhere appear to recognize the senselessness and horror in this particular attack. As well as the significant loss. Moscow has dealt with these kind of concerns in the last couple of years with house as well as train battles, so they are actually as troubled to eliminate this danger as we are actually. Yet the bottom product line is actually that there are actually really good people everywhere who desire to live in peace. I check out that a child inquired, "The United States is actually thus excellent to other countries, our experts always aid everyone, just how can they loathe our team a great deal?".I really hope the instance of cooperation and also rely on that this spacecraft plus all people in the program display daily are going to sooner or later motivate the remainder of the world to function similarly. They must!However, our company won't be actually piloting over the US while individuals are actually igniting candlesticks. Don't understand if our experts could possibly see that in any case. Our team did, nonetheless, see an extremely unique and gorgeous view a few mins ago: the launch of our Docking Compartment on a Soyuz booster. Our team were actually eclipsing it and it appeared regarding three moments after its own launch from Baikonur as the sun hit our terminal, so it was actually still unaware. It looked like a big comet along with a right, broad tail silhouetted against the black earth below. In spite of some negative lighting fixtures for a while as the sunshine reached our window at a low angle, I handled some online video of it as first our company passed the spacecraft, and then saw it start to mesmerize as it got altitude and also speed. I shot until principal motor cutoff as well as booster separation took place just like our company came close to sunrise on the Himalayas. An unforgettable attraction in an unforgettable full week ...Lifestyle takes place, even in space. Our experts are actually here to keep ... Frank.